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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957818">last christmas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadneamare/pseuds/ariadneamare'>ariadneamare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Modern Era, Pain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:06:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadneamare/pseuds/ariadneamare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. </p><p>a modern au- unedited</p><p>update weekly</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi/Hange Zoë, Nanaba/Mike Zacharias</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>last christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hanji Zoe did not know how it started, but she suddenly felt uninspired to do the things she used to like. Watching the growth of animals did not amuse her any longer nor did writing research about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment she stepped foot out of the hospital, a piece of her stayed in the building. It no longer followed her, did not make her enthusiastic, did not make her loud. She came out of the double doors as a different person. Better or worse version? She did not know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Nanaba grabbed the bag in her left hand. “We’ve been friends for too long, Hanji. Plus, Mike has no problem because he does not mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still feel like I am leeching off of you, but I’ll pay. I swear,” she closed the door behind her and followed her friend inside the house. “Things just do not seem stable at home, I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hanji, listen,” Nanaba dropped the bag on the floor and placed each hand on either side of her shoulders. “You are like a sibling to me, I don’t see why you are so worried. Come on, let me show you to your room.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They climbed a set of stairs before turning left, leading to a door in the corner. Hanji noted the artworks on the wall, from abstract paintings to landscapes. A certain canvas caught her eye and it adorned a clean white paint save from the red smudge in the middle. It formed a heart but with less detail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Mike’s painting, he calls it Amare,” her friend approached it, turning a light on and allowing them to see the tiny blue streaks over the red. “It’s Latin for love.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really beautiful,” she breathed, her eyes going over the way the blue and red contrasted with the white. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone wanted to buy it for a million,” Nanaba commented and Hanji’s eyes widened. “Mike refused because this was his gift for me on our tenth anniversary.” The two admired the piece before moving to enter the room. They stepped foot in a clean room, with four pieces of furniture. A double bed, desk with a chair, and closet. “Keep it clean,” her friend eyed her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji’s head lolled backward as she laughed, “I will! Thank you so much for this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door closed and she plopped down on the bed, heaving a sigh. For the first time in a week, she felt at peace. From listening to her parents argue to her mother scolding her for quitting her job, Hanji finally got a break from the chaos. Unpacking her things, she shoved her clothes in the closet and closed it. She piled her shoes under the bed and laid all her notebooks on the desk. She admired the room before sitting on the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clean,” she breathed before grabbing her pen to write notes. Hanji tried to find a new job after impulsively quitting the old one because she no longer belonged there. “Chemistry teacher or……” She scanned the words on the paper but not one seemed right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three hours passed and she found nothing. In the end, she exited the room to find food. Voices could be heard downstairs and she felt envious of the happiness lingering in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a sweet talker, but it’s still a no,” a soft voice echoed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a good plan!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please say sike right now, Mike.” Nanaba laughed at her partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zipping this mouth,” he replied before making a sound effect of a zipper being closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji has known Nanaba for the longest, and throughout all those years she has never heard her friend complain about their relationship. Sure they disagreed on some occasions but Mike always made sure that they would make up right after. It felt like reading a romance novel, but the drama did not exist. At some point, she realized that healthy relationships do actually still exist. She just got used to the toxic energy her parents exuded that seeing relationships like this tugged at her in envy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nanaba?” She called out as she reached the threshold of the kitchen, “hey, Mike. Thank you for allowing me to stay here. I don’t know how to repay you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her friend approached her and pulled her into the kitchen to sit by the counter, “sit. Dinner is almost ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Hanji! You are like family already,” he passes her a wine glass after filling it, “it’s good to have people over, Nanaba often becomes lonely since I have work. You can go to the mall tomorrow, I heard there’s a new shop opening up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Perfect, I almost forgot about that.” Nanaba says as she places the food on the table. “Here, Hanji, let me get food on your plate for you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three eat in peace, with Nanaba asking her about what she wants to do. They offer her choices on where she can find jobs. Mike jokes and Nanaba smacks his arm, Hanji felt happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time she retreated to her room, the smaller hand on the clock reached the number 10. Back home, Hanji would try to escape the dinner table as fast as she could. This time, she enjoyed every second with her friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleep took her and as she looked in the mirror, the dark circles beneath her eyes lightened. Hanji concluded that the more time she slept, the more she glowed. She got so used to the tired look her face carried that she came to accept it as her permanent look. Getting out of something toxic does bring a person more peace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rummaging her closet for an outfit to wear, she adorned a smile on her face. Even humming a song under her breath, and she felt positive about the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nanaba intertwined her arm with Hanji as they waited for the light to turn red. She traveled her eyes around the streets and held her chest as her heart panged. Sure she walked these streets way too many times already but a memory lingered, one she could not quite pinpoint. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Her friend nudged her, worry etched on her forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji replies with a nod and a small smile, running her hand along Nanaba’s arm to reassure her. They enter the mall, and her head moves to stare at the lights hanging from the ceiling. She has spent years celebrating the holidays, but she never got to appreciate its beauty. Usually, she spent her holidays walking on eggshells around her family. Careful not to do or say anything that might start a fight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The new store is right in the corner,” Nanaba drags her towards it, a wide smile on her face. “They sell pots and plants. I heard their pots are handmade.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their steps mixed with a little hop as they make their way to the shop. The two reach the store, and Hanji immediately notices the intricate design on the pots. It all seemed familiar to her, it brought warmth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would wanna try making pots like these and painting them,” she whispers while running her fingers along the design of a small pot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I painted that,” a deep voice catches her attention. Hanji moves her head to look at the man behind her, and she allows a shy smile to creep up her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey,” she barely gets the words out of her mouth. Heat climbing up to her cheeks as she adds, “it’s beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I’ve been told,” he steps a little closer to Hanji. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hanji,” she speaks with her hand out and he looks at it in confusion. “It’s my name,” a light chuckle comes out of her mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t your mom tell you talking to strangers was a dangerous thing to do?” She hears the tinge of teasing in his voice, Hanji opens her mouth to speak but the man cuts her off. “Levi. The name’s Levi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hanji,” Nanaba catches her attention, placing a hand at the small of her back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Hanji looks at her with wide eyes and a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who were you talking to?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This gu-” she turns her head to look at Levi, but the man disappeared. Her face falls and she looks around to find him. “He was just here a second ago.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, grab that pot. Let’s look at the plants right there,” her friend tugs at her and she grabs the pot. Looking one last time behind her before following Nanaba to the plant section. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they reached the counter, the pair had six plants in total and over a dozen pots in their basket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice choice of plants you have here,” the cashier spoke with a smile. “These pots, too.” As the two passed the money to pay, the lady behind the counter spoke again, “you two are the first who did not complain about the price.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nanaba laughed and explained, “my partner is an artist. I get why these are pricey. Art isn’t simple.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for visiting, do come again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji dragged Nanaba out of the store, “where to next?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call Mike first to get these pots and plants, they’re really heavy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the two waited for Mike, Hanji looked around to see if she could spot Levi. The man disappeared out of nowhere. She just wanted to know more about pottery as the hobby piqued her interest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About that man I met a while ago,” she started. “He was nice, and…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?” Her friend laughed at her, amusement plastered on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Attractive, but also mean. Though not too mean, like he was only teasing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No,” she scoffed while shaking her head. “No, I just met him. It’s just that he was really pleasant.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s new,” Nanaba pinched her cheek and rolled her eyes, “ but I’ll let it be. For now, let’s say he is pleasant.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two laugh in chorus and met eyes. Hanji could not be any more blessed. In times where the world conspired against her, Nanaba was there to hold her hand and stay by her side.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going out,” Hanji called out to Nanaba who stood in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” Her friend hurriedly exited the room to block the front door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To find a job,” she crossed her arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, bu-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be back, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before 8,” the blonde woman crossed her arms to match with Hanji. “No later than 8 in the evening.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Hanji laughed and tickled her sides. “That’s too early!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no!” Even as Nanaba asked her to stop, Hanji continued until they fell on the floor. “Fine! I’ll raise it to 8:30.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you don’t want me to stop?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay,” she was out of breath already as she replied. “Do not go beyond 10.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji stood with a wide smile and reached her hand out for Nanaba to take. “Good choice,” she dusts off her pants and fixes her blouse. Opening the door, she blows a kiss to Nanaba. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be home early or I’ll lock the door,” she shouts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mike gave me a key!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Traitor!” Nanaba shouted as she closed the door, Hanji assumed her friend would soon bombard him with playful punches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hanji turned the corner, she sighed deeply. Exhaustion visiting her. Last night, she barely slept. Even though she lived in a healthy environment, she no longer belonged anywhere. As if she did not know her own identity anymore. Some moments, she just had the urge to sit and cry. A part of her left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Hanji gasped, bringing one hand to her chest. “You gave me a fright.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That didn’t answer my question,” he replied. Walking alongside Hanji, a wreath in one hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you often do that?” She looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. “Suddenly appearing and disappearing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually.” He looked up, “I think it’s going to snow later. You should have brought a scarf.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good,” she answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that an answer for my first question?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Hanji looked at him. Levi seemed pleasant. “Where are you headed?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nowhere,” he holds the wreath with two hands. “How about you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Off to find a job,” she sighed again. Hanji spent the past week looking for a job just after quitting her old one. It seemed irrational that she did that, but she needed to do it. She no longer belonged there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you,” Levi offered kindly, refusing to meet her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would?” A huge smile appeared on her lips and she nudged him with her elbow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t say it again, four eyes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice nickname,” a chuckle erupts from her throat and she turns her head to focus on the road ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two continue to walk in silence, safe from the sound their shoes were making. Hanji tried to stop the smile on her face but she could not help it. She decided that the man beside her could go past being called just pleasant. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Let me know what you think in the comments ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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